Here With Me
by xxExtremeWaysxx
Summary: I slip out of the party. I yearn for solitude, for a single moment of privacy, but he follows me. And I don't stop him. Blackwater drabble.
1. Chapter 1

Hello, loves! To make up from my hiatus from "Wedding," here is an angst-filled one-shot! Enjoy xx

PS. If you haven't already, go listen to Susie Suh's "Here With Me." You (probably) won't regret it! Total lovey goodness.

Disclaimer: The characters in this story are based off of Stephanie Meyer's "Twilight" saga. I do not own anything.

* * *

"Caught in the riptide, I was searching for the truth.

There was a reason I collided into you."

\- "Here With Me," Susie Suh

* * *

Everyone agreed, it was a beautiful day for a wedding. The sky above was a piercing blue, so bright it hurt to look at. And it was warm, the warmest day La Push had seen in months. It wasn't until the reception, when the guests migrated to the groom's house, that the weather began to turn. The clouds grew heavy and dark, their swollen bellies hanging low to the earth.

By the time I finally find an opportunity to escape, when the liquor had been passed around more than a few times and everyone's eyes are glassy and warm with laughter as they follow the happy couple around the dance floor, my face aches with the effort of smiling.

I slip the sliding glass door back into place as the wind dances around me, whipping the silk fabric of my dress against my bare ankles. The air is electric, a loaded promise from the brewing storm. My wolf slams against my ribcage, its growls pulsating through my veins. I can feel it like the hollow echo of a beaten drum in my chest, reverberating through my fingertips.

I'd tried. I really had. And I'd done my part, nobody could deny that. I had stood at the altar, watched as she walked down the aisle, a bouquet of maroon dahlias clutched to her chest. I faked a smile and wore the cream satin dress she'd wanted me to and stood beside her as she made her vows. I averted my eyes and pretended each stolen kiss and secret smile and gentle caress of the back didn't effect me. That it didn't pull at me like a riptide. I was drowning in a flood of loneliness, surrounded by these strange faces I'd known my whole life, but couldn't recognize. And no one noticed, because I'd done my part. But now it was too much.

Once I step off the deck, I pull the strappy heels from my feet and tuck them beneath the wooden planks. My toes curl into the cool grass, tempted to be unleashed, to succumb to the craving roaring against my ears. But I don't, I can't. The desire for a sliver of solitude- a moment of peace- burns stronger, more desperate.

I am already at the forest line when I hear the sliding door pull open. I ignore it, I ignore him. Maybe he will pause, change his mind and retreat back into the warmth and music and laughter. Maybe he'll realize that he isn't like me- his absence will be noted. Everyone notices a missing Alpha.

But, he doesn't.

He follows me.

His presence behind me is like a flame, burning hot and bright against my spine. It sparks a flare of emotion within my chest that I choose to ignore.

Broken branches press into the soles of my feet. I take a breath and close my eyes, taking the stolen moment to relish the feeling of him surrounding me and to gather the energy and words to push him back inside, out of these woods and out of my mind.

"Why are you following me, Jake?" I turn towards him as I speak, the words catching in my throat and falling flat between us.

He's standing a yard from me, the sleeves of his white button down rolled up to his elbows, exposing thick, muscular forearms. I trace the prominent veins mapped across his large hands before I pull my eyes up to meet his face.

His eyes are dark as he stares at me, his voice low and deep. "I wanted to make sure you were okay."

The wind is fierce now, it grabs at me, pulling my hair loose so it whips against my bare shoulders. My laugh catches on the breeze. "What do you care? I'm fine. I'm great!" I swallow the tears rising in my throat. "My mom deserves happiness." My dad's face flashes through my mind, but I push it down. I've been thinking about him all day. How could I not?

"Don't do that. Don't lie to me, Leah." His brow is furrowed and he's biting at his lip as though there is something that's trying to escape his mouth, something he's fighting to hold back.

I take a step away from him, shaking my head. "I'm not lying, Black. I just need to be alone, okay? Can you do that for me? Can you just leave me alone?"

"You know I can't." He takes a couple steps toward me, but I raise my hands up and he stops in his tracks, standing stock-still before me. His eyes are relentless as they bore into me. I can barely stand it and I look into the surrounding trees to escape his stare. "Talk to me, Lee. Let me in."

"What do you expect me to say that you don't already know? You know how I'm feeling, Jacob. You know that seeing her with Charlie's ring on her finger and not my dad's-" I rush to wipe a tear from my cheek and grasp at the anger that flares inside of me for letting Jake see me like this. I take a breath, "Everyone in this town is blinded by happiness. Everyone is madly in love and getting married and having babies. Now my mom has joined the ranks. And I'm…alone." Another tear falls and I turn my face to hide it, quickly brushing it away. "And it's fine. I don't care. I wasn't made to imprint, maybe I'm broken or some kind of barren mutant cursed to wander these woods alone until the day I die. That is if the Grim Reaper will even take me." I don't dare to look at him, so instead I stare out behind him where I can just make out the rooftop of Charlie's house. My face twists in what I hope is a vicious smile, "It's seriously okay, Black. I'm not suicidal or anything. I'm just mourning this fucking day, okay? I think I'm allowed to do that. So please, just leave me the fuck alone."

I turn on my heel and take a step deeper into the forest before his large hand grabs my forearm and pulls back to him. "No," he growls.

I clench my teeth. "Let me go."

He's so close to me, I can feel his breath against my lips. "Don't you have an imprint to get back to?" That gets him, he loosens his hold on my arm and I hate the wave of disappointment that floods my chest as I turn back towards him. "Go back to Renesmee, Jake."

After a moment, he finally lets go of my arm, but he doesn't step away.

He bows his head and focuses his deep charcoal eyes on me. "You're not a monster, Leah. If you could see yourself the way I see you." He pauses and lifts his head. "Look at me." I reluctantly pull my eyes from Charlie's roof. "You're blessed. I'm cursed, me and all of our brothers who have been struck by imprinting. But not you. You've been saved or you're strong enough to resist it. And you're not broken. You're perfect, Leah. And you're so fucking beautiful, you have no idea. I can't take my eyes off of you."

"Don't play with me, Jake. My heart can't take any more of this." It was the first time I'd admitted to what I'd known for years; I had caught glimpses of the struggle within him that brewed beneath the surface- the battle between his devotion to Renesmee and his attraction to me. And he knew how I felt about him, even though I'd done everything in my power to keep my feelings bottled up inside me, he knew. Yet, we had never spoken about it, until now. And that's what made this so fucked up, that's what makes me livid with rage. How could he do this to me when he knows that in the end it will always be her?

I shove against him as hard as I can, my hands connecting to his solid chest and he stumbles back a few feet. "She's your fuckin' soulmate, Black. Go back to her." I choke on the words, the desperation pouring out of me in waves of helplessness and a broken fragment of hope that scares me more than anything else. My face is wet and I suddenly realize that it's raining, the clouds releasing their burden upon us in heavy sheets.

Jake just stands there, his face a tortured mask. The rain has plastered his hair against his face, he rakes it back with shaking hands. His eyes are pleading as he stares at me and when he speaks his voice is strong and sure. "She's not my soulmate, Lee. You know that." He closes the distance between us again and I step back against the trunk of an old evergreen, his arms coming up to block me in. His heat washes over me. "I can't keep ignoring this- you, us. I've tried for years to convince myself that all my feelings for you are to test my loyalty to Ness, but…" he licks his lips and his eyes drop down to my mouth before reaching my eyes again. "I can't keep pretending." His forehead presses against mine and we stand like that, breathing each other in.

"Dammit, Clearwater. Talk to me." The rain has soaked his dress shirt and it clings to his every curve of his muscular body. My hand betrays me, reaching up to rest against his chest. His heart pounds beneath my palm- fast and steady.

"Let me in that head of yours," he whispers.

"All I ever do is let you in my head, Jake."

Lust and anger whirl like a fog in my mind, leaving me disorientated and dizzy. "You should go," I whisper against his mouth. He's close now. I can almost taste him against my lips.

"Stop trying to push me away." He laughs and it vibrates between us, causing a rush of goosebumps to travel up my arms. "Actually stop pushing me in general, you're surprisingly strong." He rubs his nose against mine. "Let me be here for you."

His hand travels up my side, knotting the fabric of my dress through his fingers as the other brushes the hair out of my face, tucking it behind my ear.

Then a voice pierces through the silence surrounding us.

"Jacob!"

It is Renesmee. "Jacob! Are you out there! It's raining, baby! Come inside!"

Jake tenses around me. His face lifts towards her voice as his hand leaves my body. It clenches by his side and he punches the tree behind me. The impact shakes the tree and my teeth clatter along with it.

"Fuck," he breathes.

We're hidden within a cluster of trees, the porch where Renesmee stands obstructed from our view.

I don't want to hear anything else.

I don't wait for him to leave me.

I unravel myself from his arms, escaping his grasp as I leap and phase into a silver wolf, my mother's dress shredding into bits of fabric that fall all around us like confetti.

I don't turn back as he calls out my name.


	2. Chapter 2

"Calling your name in the midnight hour, reaching for you from the endless dream.

So many miles between us now, but you are always here with me."

 **Jacob's POV**

My arms shake from the loss of her. My fingers twitch with the memory of her skin against mine, the way her breath felt against my mouth, the way her eyelashes fluttered when I whispered her name.

I grasp for that moment, but the sound of Ness's heels clacking across Charlie's deck rips it from my hands.

I can't go after her. She's gone. I lost her.

"Fuck." An aching sound escapes my lips and I punch the tree again. It cracks upon impact, leaving a deep crevice where Leah had just stood.

The rain is coming hard now. The remains of her dress float in the puddles at my feet like lilies on a pond.

I feel sick. Nausea rakes its claws against my abdomen as Sue's wedding cake churns inside me.

"Jacob?" It's Ness. I can't find the strength to look at her.

"Oh my god, baby, you're bleeding. What's happened? What's going on?"

Her fingers flutter across my ribs before making their way down my arm to my bleeding knuckles. I swallow the urge to lean into her touch.

I lift my head and meet her amber eyes.

* * *

 **Leah's POV**

I run.

And I run.

And I run.

When my lungs burn like fire and my paws leave trails of dark mahogany on the earth beneath me, I collapse- phasing onto a pillow of slippery leaves.

My naked body curls against itself, the rain pounding on bare skin: I clutch my sides to ward off the whisper of goosebumps.

My eyes slip shut and I fall into a pit of deep, black sleep.

I wake with a jolt.

It is dark, but the rain has stopped.

The only illumination in the encompassing twilight is the glowing full moon partially hidden by the storm's lingering clouds. I must have slept for hours, but my eyes burn with exhaustion and my throat aches from words unsaid, tears unshed.

The allure of remaining here the rest of the night is tempting, but I gingerly lift myself up, my muscles groaning in protest. It would be easier to morph into my wolf, but I make my way through the forest on foot, relishing the cool, dewy air on my bare skin.

I have a vague idea of where I am; the house should be less than three miles away. A dull ache spreads through my chest thinking of the packed boxes that I'll find scattered throughout our family's home. Once they are back from their honeymoon, mom will officially be moving into Charlie's.

 _Oh shit…Mom._

I had left without an explanation. Granted, I had every intention of going back inside before…

I shake my head. The onslaught of emotions that come with the thought of his name pull me under and I struggle to focus on the flare of guilt that burns hot in my chest. Sue is probably worried sick. The last thing I want is to detract from her wedding night. Jesus. My dad would be ashamed.

I pick up my pace, praying it isn't too late to send her a quick "I love you. I'm sorry I'm a raging bitch" text.

I'm so focused on reaching the house that it isn't until I'm in the backyard that I smell him.

Jake.

The pain is tangible. It spreads from the left side of my chest cavity and radiates to the tips of my fingers. My steps falter and I lean against the fence to steady myself.

The memory of this afternoon overwhelms my senses: he is all around me, tangled in my hair and the ghost of my dress and the breath that passes from my lips.

 _You're perfect, Leah._

 _I can't keep pretending._

His words fade, replaced by the look in his eyes when Renesme called his name. A sob claws at my throat and I beg the recesses of my mind to find the strength to face him, to respond to whatever he has to say without staring at his mouth or reaching for his hand.

Scrambling for the clothesline, I pull on the nearest tank top and jean shorts, praying the clothing will mask some of the raw vulnerability this day has left me with.

There still isn't any sign of him, no movement, no shapeshifter shadow in sight. For a naive moment, I think maybe he isn't here, maybe I was just imagining the smell of him. And for that brief second, I'm both hopeful and devastated. Maybe I can wake up tomorrow and today will be just a distant memory.

"Leah."

He comes around the side of the house. The clouds have moved allowing the bright moon to illuminate Jake's face. He is still in his dress shirt and slacks from this morning, looking as worn down as I feel. The sight of his face makes my throat thicken.

"Not now, Black. I need to text my mom before she calls for a search party."

"I already talked to Sue. I told her I sent you out on patrol. You should have heard the earful she gave me." He lets out a short laugh, but his eyes are dark and pensive on my face. "Sending the daughter of the bride to work during her mother's reception. I don't know if I'll ever get her forgiveness."

Relief washes over me as I turn toward the porch steps.

I attempt a small smile. "Thank you."

"Can we talk?"

Running a hand through my knotted hair, I look down at my feet. "I'm tired of talking. There's nothing more left to say, Jake."

He reaches for me as I climb up the stairs. "Wait-"

I move away, escaping his touch. Exhaustion weighs on me like stone and I hope he hears the exasperation dripping my words. "If you feel like you need to explain yourself or apologize or some shit, don't bother. What happened earlier…It's over. It's in the past."

Turning my back, I pray he will leave. I pray that for once he will actually do what I want.

"I've watched you walk away from me too many times, Leah." His voice pleads me to turn back toward him and because I am weak and spineless and hopelessly fucking in love with him, I do.

He is closer than I thought he would be; perched on the step below me, our eyes are nearly level.

"I broke up with Renesme," he blurts.

No no no. My blood turns cold in my veins. Fear grips at my windpipe as my finger nails dig into my thigh.

"I finally told her the truth." His hands clutch the railings, knuckles white in the darkness. "I finally told her what I should have told her long ago: I am in love with somebody else. I have been for years. I've just been too pussy shit and stupid to admit it."

I stumble backwards, scrambling for the door. Jake rushes forward and blocks my escape, his hand pressed against the windowpane.

Pulling on the handle, I sob. "Let me go!" Tears are streaming down my face and I hate that I can't stop them. "This isn't real. This isn't possible. Please, just leave. Leave!"

"I know that I have hurt you and I hate myself for it. I don't deserve you, Leah. But," he bends his head and I'm forced to look into his eyes. "I'm yours." Now he is the one who waivers, his eyes skirting across my face. "If you'll have me." It comes out as a whisper, each syllable drawing me closer and closer to him.

"It's not that easy, Jake. You can't just say a few words and then magically be free of an imprint." My response sticks to my tongue, my heart constricting in disbelief.

His voice lowers. "I didn't say that I am free of it. I love Ness, she is my sister. I will do whatever it takes to keep her safe. It took everything inside of me to say the things I said to her. Every force in my body was fighting against me. For hours I fought chills and fever. When the words formed on my tongue, I had the urge to vomit. It took hours."

I'm shaking as he entwines our fingers together then cups my face. "But, I won, Leah. My love for you won." I stare up at him, his eyes warm on my face, a smiling tugging at his lips.

I collapse into him, wrapping my arms around his neck and burrowing my face into his shoulder. Every year that has passed, every splinter of my heart, every encounter where I've pulled away from him, every time I've run away alone relinquishes me from its hold. And maybe it's the exhaustion or maybe it's because I'm hopelessly fucking in love with him, I melt into Jake.

"I'm here. I'm right here," he murmurs into my hair. "And God help me, I love you, Leah Clearwater."

I pull away and our noses brush together. "Say it again," I whisper.

"I love you."

Then he kisses me. And with the touch of his lips every fear that lingers in every dark corner inside of me and every ounce of anger burrowed into all my sharp edges dissipates on my tongue.

* * *

Happy Hump Day, loves!

Here is the second and final part of my Blackwater "one-shot."

Hope the drabble keeps you going for the rest of your week!

Hugs! xxx


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